Zack Perdue is a developer for CHOSEN. A start-up web development company that I help build from nothing that is going places (I’m bragging). I had to share this Chat Zack sent me with YGG because it is hilarious a
nd inspiring. Check it out.
Zack-
One night I was working on an application written in php. After writing a few lines of code, I went to test it out and got some errors. I wasn’t sure why, so I then proceeded to check my phpinfo. I was running php version 4.2, which of course does not support some features I’m trying to take advantage of. I found out that in order for these features to work, I would have to be running at least php 5.0.
Ok, cool I know what my problem is and that it will be fixed soon, or so I thought. At this point im feeling good about having my server upgraded soon, so I go to contact my servers live support line, mind you it is kind of late, but that’s the nature of a programmer.
Here is where it gets interesting. The support technician opens the chat with his default welcome message - I assure you this is the beauty of customer service.
Chat Content:
Nathan B.: [2:48:01 AM] Welcome to our real-time support chat. How can I help you today?
zack perdue: [2:48:01 AM] i need you to update php
Nathan B.: [2:48:22 AM] How exactly can I help you>
zack perdue: [2:48:49 AM] I just need php on my server to be updated to the most recent version http://kilobids.com/
[2:49:12 AM] im trying to use some functions and they arent available in this version currently installed
Nathan B.: [2:49:19 AM] Unfortunately, that is not something we can do.
[2:49:29 AM] We update PHP as the admins deem necessary.
zack perdue: [2:49:40 AM] it needs to be updated.
Nathan B.: [2:50:34 AM] I’m sorry, but it is not going to be updated at this time.
zack perdue: [2:50:50 AM] can you put me through to someone that can help me?
Nathan B.: [2:51:07 AM] As I said, this cannot be updated.
zack perdue: [2:51:21 AM] Please put me through to someone.
[2:51:34 AM] i need to cancel my hosting account if this doesnt get updated
Nathan B.: [2:51:39 AM] We decide on the version to install on the servers based on many factors. Security, stability, and what works for most of our customers.
[2:52:09 AM] If your code requires a different version, then unfortunately, it would not work with our services.
zack perdue: [2:52:16 AM] well im sure the developers of php arent going to upgrade to a lower security version.
Nathan B.: [2:52:24 AM] You can cancel at any time, however, our Billing Department is not currently here.
[2:52:35 AM] They arrive at 6 am and it is not 2:52 am
zack perdue: [2:53:00 AM] This is unacceptable
[2:53:23 AM] im sure if i spoke with someone who really cared about their customers that pay them money, they would update the server.
Nathan B.: [2:53:39 AM] It has nothing to do with me or anyone caring.
[2:53:50 AM] There are just some things that we cannot update.
[2:53:54 AM] PHP is one of them.
zack perdue: [2:53:58 AM] i know but you are just someone that is saying “no it cannot be done”
[2:54:11 AM] anything is possible
[2:54:19 AM] i just need to speak to the right person
Nathan B.: [2:54:22 AM] It is updated throughout the entire company as the Admins, developers, owner, etc. deem necessary.
[2:54:35 AM] I’m sorry, but this is one of those things that we cannot do.
zack perdue: [2:54:58 AM] when is and admin/developer/owner available?
Nathan B.: [2:55:33 AM] You won’t be able to speak directly to an admin but you are always welcome to email the owner, Matt Heaton
[2:55:40 AM] matt@hostmonster.com
[2:55:49 AM] But I will tell you that it won’t be updated.
zack perdue: [2:56:27 AM] ok stay on the line. im writing an email.
Nathan B.: [2:56:54 AM] Ok…no problem:)
[3:01:19 AM] Is there anything else I can help you with?
zack perdue: [3:01:20 AM] im stil here
Nathan B.: [3:02:44 AM] Ok, is there anything else I can help you with?
zack perdue: [3:02:49 AM] Ok i sent him a message.
[3:03:11 AM] is there any other emails i can use?
[3:03:31 AM] i would like to email some server admins also
Nathan B.: [3:05:06 AM] Matt is the best and only one that would respond. Just so you know, it won’t be updated at this time.
[3:05:17 AM] It’s not updated based on requests.
zack perdue: [3:05:35 AM] May i please have the email of the lead server admin?
Nathan B.: [3:05:40 AM] There are many reasons, many unknown to us, that the owner and developers choose this version.
[3:05:47 AM] I do not have an email for him.
zack perdue: [3:06:03 AM] ok. i would like an email to the new guy
Nathan B.: [3:06:14 AM] Email to the new guy?
zack perdue: [3:06:26 AM] Im sure he will go above and beyond the expectations to make me happy
Nathan B.: [3:06:33 AM] :)
zack perdue: [3:06:33 AM] yes, the new server admin
Nathan B.: [3:06:43 AM] This is not about going “above and beyond”
zack perdue: [3:07:00 AM] Like i said, anything is possible.
Nathan B.: [3:07:04 AM] Not this
zack perdue: [3:07:05 AM] My server will be upgraded.
Nathan B.: [3:07:11 AM] Good luck though:)
zack perdue: [3:07:23 AM] Thanks m8.
[3:07:28 AM] keep an eye on it.
Nathan B.: [3:07:38 AM] I promise you, it will not happen:)
zack perdue: [3:07:44 AM] guarentee that it is upgraded within a few days.
Nathan B.: [3:07:52 AM] :)!
[3:08:04 AM] I appreciate your confidence:)
zack perdue: [3:08:26 AM] Thanks. many people do.
[3:08:40 AM] I will make a ticket about this also.
Nathan B.: [3:08:49 AM] Honestly, I believe you will find better use of your time finding a host that does in fact support the version you are needing.
[3:09:06 AM] Because this is something that our company simply will not upgrade.
[3:09:28 AM] It is done for the entire company, hundreds of thousands of customers at a time.
[3:09:40 AM] Not for a single user on a singer server.
zack perdue: [3:09:45 AM] well, i will save money in the short run if i stay with you guys honetsly. it will be quicker and more worth it to get it upgraded than to cancel subscription move websites, databases. ect…
Nathan B.: [3:10:04 AM] I understand, however, this really is not something that you will be able to get.
[3:10:37 AM] You might be better off finding a way to not use certain functions that require a newer version of php.
zack perdue: [3:10:48 AM] im aware of this same situation from other hosting companys and they happily upgraded on a per server basis
[3:11:14 AM] I do no a fix for my problem but it eats memory and i dont want that.
Nathan B.: [3:11:24 AM] Unfortunately, we are so large that we do it for the entire company at one time.
zack perdue: [3:11:55 AM] awesome. its about time it be upgraded. its a few subversions behind.
Nathan B.: [3:12:14 AM] We just barely upgraded to the version we are currently running.
zack perdue: [3:12:26 AM] thats horrible.
Nathan B.: [3:12:27 AM] We never know when an upgrade is coming.
zack perdue: [3:12:37 AM] I do
[3:12:40 AM] Soon.
Nathan B.: [3:12:41 AM] It runs perfectly fine for everyone here.
[3:12:49 AM] Good luck Zack!
zack perdue: [3:12:59 AM] Negative. it does not run perfectly fine for me.
Nathan B.: [3:13:11 AM] That’s why you may need to find a new host.
[3:13:15 AM] We’ll be sorry to lose you.
zack perdue: [3:13:25 AM] yeah i bet you will
[3:13:33 AM] if you were sorry you would get it upgraded
Nathan B.: [3:14:33 AM] Ok, well, if there’s nothing else…have a great day:)
zack perdue: [3:14:50 AM] Yeah good night
How do you like that for some customer service?
At this point I’m pretty heated about how Nathan B. was talking to me and I’m sure you can tell from the messages how this situation was going.
However, Nathan was not the last person I talked to; I did email the owner of the hosting company, who, did not respond to me - I’m sure he is too busy to respond any ways.
I also opened a support ticket through the administration panel of my host requesting help and an upgraded server, which to no avail, was not a successful request.
A couple days go by and I’m disappointed with my host. Now, a little humored by the support conversation, I show another developer friend of mine the messages that I exchanged with live help.
Any how, he asked to see the phpinfo of my server so I show him.
My current version of php is now 5.2
Take that Nathan; the customer is always right!!!
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